Win Harper | Life and Leadership Coach

The hand moves
And the fire’s whirling
Makes different shapes.
All things change when we do.

- from “Singing Images of Fire”, Kukei, 8th c. Zen Master

This past weekend Elizabeth and I were in Sturbridge, Massachusetts at the Natural Living Expo.  We had a wonderful time and met some great new friends.  Going there we drove from Rhinebeck through Great Barrington using the “blue highways.”  We drove back on the Throughways.  In two days, the leaves had changed!  Fall is the time of change, a transition from summer to winter.  And like the seasons, we are changing.

Wednesday we are moving our belongings to a Canandaigua, New York mini-storage unit.  We are building a house in Canandaigua and want to watch it go up, and to start acclimatizing ourselves to the colder weather.  This will be our first winter in the United States since 2001-2002.  That year we spent most of the winter in Jacksonville, Florida, and complained about the cold.  Since then we have lived in Mexico, and our coldest winter night has been 60 degrees.  This year I will be very happy to see a high of 60 degrees during the day!  We have been shopping at LL Bean, North Face, REI, Campmor, etc., looking for warm clothes.

With this move there are other changes.  For the past 16 summers, I have lived on or near the campus of the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.  I worked there from 1994 to 2008. 
I have lived a life of changes.  During my 26 years in the Marine Corps, I moved or changed jobs every 2 years, and that pattern is embedded in me. For years after retiring, I waited for a letter or phone call to tell me where to move.  None came.

As one door closes; another opens.  When I retired from the Marine Corps, I was honored at an awards ceremony and a party.  At midnight July 31st, 1992 the door was closed on my military career.  I am very proud of my service and would gladly do it again, and at the same time, that part of my life is complete. Two years later I started working at Omega.  Last year, I was honored at the end of year party, and the door was closed on my time at Omega.  I am very proud of my service there and would gladly do it again, and at the same time, that part of my life is complete. 

Why is closure and completion important?  Because loose ends, unclear relationships, and vague communications are normally associated with uncompleted events in our lives.  Interestingly, I have a structure in my life to remind me of this.  When I get a coffee cup from the cupboard, and notice later that the door is still open, I know that there is something open in my life that I need to close or complete. 

David Whyte, poet and author, says that in order to grow we must change, and with that change comes separation from people, places, things, and/or ideas.  And, with separation comes pain.  I teach this, and as Elizabeth likes to say, “We often teach what we most need to learn.”  Today I am grieving the separations that are associated with the doors that are closing in my life.  And at the same time, I am excited about the changes coming into my life as other doors are opening.

Elizabeth and I just got back from a whirlwind trip around midnight last night.  We were at Opal Moon in Croton-on-Hudson, New York on Thursday; Aviana Retreat Center in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania on Friday and Saturday; and Breathe Books in Baltimore, Maryland on Sunday and Monday.  We offered our new combined session, taught a class, and Elizabeth also did one-on-one sessions.

On September 17th my friend Grace Gravelle wrote a blog about FUN on her website Front Porch Yoga.  She listed several things to do, such as, wave at airplanes, or notice things that make you smile (like a big, tough guy holding a pink umbrella in the rain).  Waiting for our sessions to start at Breathe Books in Baltimore, I went for a walk around the “The Avenue” in Hampden:  I saw a man walking down the street eating a big slice of watermelon, two young boys laughing and tossing a football in the air as they headed home, a group of young girls sitting under a playground table holding what appeared to be a very secret meeting, and I saw a black cat staring at the glass door of his house trying to will someone to let him in.  I smiled at each situation.  Her advice about waving at airplanes reminded me of a time when I was walking on the Appalachian Trail in 1996.  One night I stayed at the Graymoor Spiritual Life Center in Garrison, New York, and as I was setting up my tent on the ball field a priest came down to the field with his dog.  Suddenly, the dog starting running, barking, and jumping into the air.  He was chasing an airplane that was at 10,000 feet! The priest said the dog always did that.  I smiled.  As I have gotten older, I appreciate more things in my life; simple things that make me smile.  What a gift.  Thanks Grace.

WARNING:  More Shameless Self-Promotion Follows:

Speaking of gifts!  The new combined session Elizabeth and I are offering is called, Future Gifts for the Present Moment.  It is an extension of our Insight and Intuition work, and the feedback we have gotten so far has been wonderful.  One woman sat up after the meditation, smiled and said, “Wow!” 

During the session, I lead the client on a Guided Imagery Meditation to a visit with their Future Self 20 years in the future.  I learned this meditation in my coaches training with The Coaches Training Institute.  While the individual is in the meditation, Elizabeth draws a Soul Energy Portrait of them.  I then coach the individual on the meditation to help them incorporate their Future Self into their present lives.  Afterwards, Elizabeth interprets the Soul Energy Portrait and then makes a personal design bracelet based on the colors that come up during the meditation.  Please check our website calendars for information about where and when we are providing these sessions.

The reason this work is so much fun for me is because it is my Life Purpose:  “I am the round table at which the community gathers to nourish itself,” and it honors my values. 

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

The call came at 6:50 AM Saturday morning.  Groggily I answered the phone and the sterile voice said that my car window was broken.  My first thought was that Jack had runaway. 

I will admit that I hadn’t been kind to Jack.  His mechanical voice mispronounced street names.  He took us on routes that we knew were longer than our normal ones, and sometimes wrong.  Lately he also seemed to be developing an attitude.  When I missed a turn or if I purposely chose to take a different route than he selected, he would say, “recalculating.”  Each succeeding, “recalculating” seemed to be said with a little bit more of an edge.  I admit to occasionally yelling at Jack, but I never, never physically abused him.  Now he was gone.

You have probably guessed that Jack is the name we had given to our GPS device.  We named him that because basically he “didn’t know Jack.” 

But wait, didn’t the clerk say that the police were with my car and they wanted to see me.  When I got there the window was definitely broken from the outside, so unless Jack had an accomplice, my car had been broken into and Jack stolen.  Damn!

The policeman asked for Jack’s ID, his serial number.  I couldn’t even remember what model he was.  I guess Jack wasn’t the only one who “didn’t know Jack.”

“Be the person you want to be.”  Practice what you teach, or as some may say preach.  Win, do something!  Take action!  I called my insurance company, and they told me I was completely covered.  After a few moments, they said I could get it fixed on Monday at 11 AM.  I told them that was not acceptable, and that I would find someone locally.  And, I did.

Then I went to the front desk and asked for a garbage bag to clean up the glass.  The kind man said that he would have his staff take care of this.  I smiled and said thank you.  An hour later, I went to my car and the front seat was full of glass.  I went back to the kind man and asked when his staff would get to my car.  I had my puzzled look on, and he said, “We did.  You didn’t think we were going to clean out the interior of your car?”  I smiled and asked for a garbage bag. 

This is the second time in 5 years that we have been burgled.  I don’t understand how people can do these things.  Their values and behaviors are so different from mine that I simply don’t get it.
Some will say that we tempted the individual by leaving our GPS device in plain site.  Well, I walk by hundreds of cars with GPS devices, and have never felt the urge to break the window and take one.
 
What do I want to do now?  Well, I am curious more than anything else.  I want to sit and talk with the individual who did this. I want to understand.

I added a new page to my website called “Got Questions?”  I got the idea for the name from the popular commercials “Got Milk?” 

Questions are the essence of coaching, and here is an excerpt from the new page:

Questions guide you towards discovery and transformation. A well-chosen question is thought-provoking, directs awareness, expands insight, examines beliefs, effects change, explores choices and calls forth emotions and memories.

During a coaching session a Life Coach will ask YOU the right question at the right time in order to help you to deepen the learning about yourself, and forward the action in your life. She/he will also ask you powerful questions that you answer between coaching calls. These questions are specifically designed to put you in a mode of reflection, discovery, and learning.

I believe that by using this page you will begin to appreciate the impact a powerful question can have on your learning about yourself, and your growth.  If you find the “Got Questions?” page is helpful, I recommend that you contact a coach to see how they can accelerate your learning and growth process.

WARNING:  Shameless Self-Promotion Commercial Follows:

I am a great coach.  I have coached 1000s of individuals, and they now live more fulfilled lives.  I have helped them to clarify their values, discover their life purpose, and remember that they are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. They now have the courage to ask for what they want and to say “no” to things they don’t want.  I am curious by nature, intuitive, smart, non-judgmental, and fun.  I ask the right question at the right time. 

You can get what you want.  If you are ready and willing to be coached, I am ready and willing to coach you!  To paraphrase a Home Depot commercial:  You can do it. I can help.

Click “Got Questions?” to start your coaching journey.