Win Harper | Life and Leadership Coach

Is it just me, or do you also have trouble finding the answers you want on Google?  I know that Google has the answers because I believe that it is the repository of all knowledge.  Unfortunately, however, I am finding out that you need to ask the right question or ask your question in the right way in order to access that knowledge.  That can be a frustrating process.

The poet David Whyte ends his poem, “Waking,” with these words:  “Everything you need you had the moment before you were born.”  You are the repository of all knowledge about yourself, however, in order to access this knowledge you need to ask the right question or ask your question in the right way. That can be a frustrating process.

I have helped hundreds of people in accessing this knowledge.  I have helped hundreds of people clarify what they want?  I have helped hundreds of people develop steps to reach their goals and to live more fulfilled lives?  I ask the right questions in the right way.  I listen to your response, and I give you feedback, not advice.

On my website, I have a “Got Questions” page where you can experience the types of questions I, as your coach, will ask you.  Really, they are questions you could ask yourself and answer.  My experience, however, is that many of us don’t ask these questions, and some of us who do ask them are not honest with ourselves in those moments.  As your coach I will hold you accountable for your answers and for taking steps toward living a more fulfilled life.

If you would like a 30 minute complimentary coaching strategy session click here, and make an appointment.  If you are ready and willing to do the work, then I want to be your coach.

You can do it; I can help. 

Several years ago I read an article about Richard Leider (www.inventuregroup.com) who had interviewed senior citizens. He asked them to look back over their lives and talk about what they had learned.

First, they said that if they could live their lives over again, they would be more reflective.
Second, if they could live their lives over again, they would take more risks.
Third, if they could live their lives over again, they would understand what really gave them fulfillment.

Do you allow yourself time for reflection?  Do you take risks? Do you know what fulfillment means to you? 
I believe those three questions really define a process. Being reflective about your life allows you to be more willing to take risks. Taking risks gives you feedback on what fulfillment means to you.  When you reflect on and understand what fulfillment means to you, you are more open to taking risks.

As a coach I can help YOU reflect on YOUR life and deepen the learning about yourself.  I can help YOU become comfortable with taking risks.  I can help YOU learn what fulfillment means to YOU. 

To paraphrase a Home Depot slogan:  You can do it; I can help!

If you want to experience how I can help, go to the following site and make a 30 minute Complimentary Coaching appointment with me:  http://winharper.appointy.com/. 

I want to be your coach!

Reframe [riːˈfreɪm]
verb (tr)
1. to support or enclose (a picture, photograph, etc.) in a new or different frame
2. to look at, present, or think of (beliefs, ideas, relationships, etc.) in a new or different way
http://www.thefreedictionary.com

A picture might be worth a thousand words, but the right picture frame makes a big difference in how the message is received.  A friend of mine who owned a picture framing business once told me that every picture is made better by the right frame.  She also said that every picture deserves a good frame.

Do you have an image of yourself that is in an old frame?  Maybe your parents framed it for you when you were very young.  Imagine if changing your self-image was as simple as reframing an old picture? 

I watched a lot of this year’s Winter Olympics.  I really enjoyed seeing individuals competing at the highest possible level in their sport.  Many of them trained most of their lives for this one chance, and yet there was only one “winner”, one Gold Medalist.  Picture yourself dedicating your entire life for one purpose, and NOT winning.  How would you frame that image of yourself?  Would you capture that moment with a “loser” frame?  Would you surround the event with an “I did my best” frame?  Which frame would you choose?  And how would it affect your self-image, and your life?

You can and you do choose how you frame your life’s pictures.  Are you choosing frames that enhance your image or ones that diminish you?  Does the frame provide you proper boundaries or does it box you into a way of life?  The frames you choose reflect your attitude towards life and yourself, and they define your self-image.

This week look at some old pictures of yourself.  How are they framed?  What is another perspective of those images of yourself?  How would you reframe them today?

I get a lot of my inspiration from music, especially Country and Western.  Here is what is up for me today.  It comes from Don Williams’ song, “Good Ole Boys Like Me.”

“Then daddy came in to kiss his little man
With gin on his breath and a Bible in his hand
He talked about honor and things I should know.”

I like the line, “He talked about honor and things I should know.”  I often think about the things my father talked to me about, and what I talked about with my daughter.  Quite frankly, not much comes up.

Two years ago I took a memoirs writing course at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.  One of the assignments was to write 2 pages about “instructions to the child you once were.”  I was amazed at the things I had not been told and what I had not told my daughter, like,
Wake up each morning knowing the day is yours
Eat a good breakfast
Take time to reflect
Be curious
Take risks
Know what fulfills you
Take time for children and old people
Be grateful
Laugh
Be a part of something bigger than yourself
Know your needs
Take long walks in the woods, and always be aware of where the sun is
Stop often; listen, smell, taste, touch, see
Choose Kindness over being right
Be fair
Do things that make you happy
Read
Love
Ask for help
Be sad, mad, glad, and scared
Dream big
Listen to yourself, Listen to others
Trust yourself, trust others
Fall down, get back up

Grace Gravelle, a friend of mine, is writing a book for her niece about “all the things I’ve learned.”  What a wonderful gift! 

Think about what advice you would have liked to have had, and give it to yourself now; journal about it, say it out loud to yourself, get friends together and discuss it.  I think you will like the list you come up with.

Here are two more quotes that may help you get started:

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
            Robert Fulghum
And this one which I really like, and abide by:
If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
          H. Jackson Brown, Jr.