Win Harper | Life and Leadership Coach

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates

That is the theme of this week’s coaching.  Mike and I continued to talk about his values.  He did not define each one, but he did prioritize them.  It is important to prioritize our values because that is how we make decisions.  When our values conflict we always choose the one we value most.

I asked him to look at his values and on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, determine how he is honoring each value today.  The degree to which you honor your values is the degree to which you gain fulfillment.

Here is what Mike came up with:
Independence 8
Family 8
Caring/service/contribution 6
Challenges 7
Integrity 7

The next step in the process is to look at each value that you are honoring at 6 or below.  Then commit to taking an action which will increase the number by 1.  For instance, Mike has a 6 for caring/service/contribution.  I asked him what he is doing right now in that area and he replied that because of his job search he was not doing as much as he would like.  This week he actually said “no” to a request that he volunteer for a charity. I acknowledged and congratulated him on his saying no, since this is a powerful tool in taking care of yourself.  His primary goal right now is to find a job, and the charity work would have taken too much of his time.  I then asked him what he could do to move that value from a 6 to a 7.  He came up with some ideas that would not be as time consuming as the offer he turned down.

When making changes in your life, it is best to take small steps so that you do not overwhelm yourself.  Looking at how you are honoring your values, where do you have a 6 or below?  What is one thing you can start doing today that you are not doing now, that would increase that number by 1?  Do this for all of your values and email me what you are going to do.

Interestingly, Mike left off growth and education as one of his top 5 values although it is the one he most honors right now.  Again, this is another example of how coaching can increase your awareness of what you are doing.  Coaching is about deepening the learning and forwarding the action in a client’s life.  So far Mike and I have been focusing on helping him understand how he processes information and interacts with others.  Being the participant and observer in your life allows you to make decisions about who you are and who you want to be.  For instance, by witnessing what you are doing and saying in the moment, you can decide if what you are doing and saying supports who you want to be.  You may be angry at someone, and say something harsh to them.  If you are aware, you can pause, take a breath, and decide if that is the person you want to be.  If not, then you can simply change what you are saying or doing.

I then asked Mike how his job search was going.  He has a Job Coach and I do not want to interfere with that relationship, and at the same time, one of the most important aspects of Life Coaching is holding the client accountable.  We normally do what we tell another person we are going to do.

He said that things go well when he makes plans.  I asked him what gets in the way of planning.  His answer was distractions and interruptions. I asked him if he was willing to send me an email when he had completed his plans for the week.  He agreed and he did send me an email when he had completed his planning for the upcoming week.

Working with his Job Coach, Mike determined that one of his key success factors or strengths was public speaking and presenting.  In his last job, however, he did not have much opportunity to exercise this strength and that would have contributed to his not being happy there.  This is an example of how important awareness of your values and key success factors are.  Mike can now use this information when evaluating his job offers.  When our values and the values of the organization we work for are aligned, then we are more fulfilled by the work we are doing; and therefore happier.

Homework:

Make job search plans for the week, and email me when they are complete –  Mike did email me that he had completed his planning for the upcoming week.

Write up a definition of your values.  Also, be conscious of how your values affect your daily life. 

Here is the after show coaching session: