Win Harper | Life and Leadership Coach

The first question I ask clients is, “What do you want?” A lot of people tell me they don’t know, but the premise of my coaching is that everyone is creative, resourceful, and whole, and that means they do know.  I understand that at times they may be blocked from accessing this information, and I will ask questions to open up their hearts and minds to help them find the answer.  Oftentimes I will ask them that if education and money were not an issue and they knew that they could not fail, what would they do. 

Here is another idea about how to access what you want.  I recently got the following exercise from Ben Dooley.  Find a quiet place and have a journal ready.  Now imagine that you need to enter the Witness Protection program.  Here are some questions to help you create your new life; the life you want.

Take a deep breath and allow yourself to dream a little.

“Where do you want to live?  If you could choose anywhere in the whole wide world, other than where you are now, where would you go?

What do you want your job to be?  If you couldn’t do what you do now, what would be the perfect job for you?  (There’s no sense picking a job that is inappropriate or non-fulfilling, right?)

What hobbies would you like to do?  All those things you never got around to, but always wanted to try.

What is your new name and identity?
How would you act in social situations?  You’ve got to create new habits that you would follow.  No longer would you fall into the same habitual and limiting traps.

What do you want other people to know about you?  You can create a whole new “first impression.”

How much money did you want to make?

Where did you come from? And because this was a “do-over” you could also completely re-write your past.

What is your educational background and job history?  The possibilities are limitless.  Every stupid mistake, embarrassing situation, unfortunate circumstance that happened in your past that has haunted you throughout your days, all eliminated from reality.  Sure, somebody must have done those things, but it wasn’t you. 

If you could completely have a new life, new name, new place to live, new job, new history-the ultimate start over, what would it be?

Today, instead of giving yourself another day to look back on with regret, create your day to be one which you embrace with pride.  Create your life today – New!  As though you were starting completely fresh (even just a teeny-tiny bit) and then start to make it happen.

That’s how it works. First you dream it, then you do it, then you live it.”

Would you be willing to send me your answers?  I would love to hear about your new life, and I promise that I will not divulge your whereabouts or anything about your new identity.  In July of 1994, I changed my name and entered a new life.  But that is a story for another blog.

And, thank you Ben Dooley for giving me your permission to use this exercise.  Ben has a wonderful website and I recommend you visit it to see what he offers.