Win Harper | Life and Leadership Coach

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life… and that is why I succeed.”  Michael Jordan

“A heavily guarded Bob* Harper hit a 22 foot turnaround jumper with 2 seconds remaining in double overtime to win the game.”– This appeared in a 1975 Woodbridge, Virginia newspaper. I still have a laminated copy of the article. That moment is what every boy dreams about when shooting baskets by himself, and I must have practiced that shot a 1000 times over the years.  However, what the article did not say was that I failed to make the last shot at the end of regulation and at the end of the first overtime. 

What is failure?  Where in your life have you failed?  What did you learn from that experience?  Ironically, I can honestly say that missing the two previous “game winners” gave me the confidence to try again.  Maybe I was counting on the law of averages, but when we took a time out with only two seconds remaining, I told my teammates that I would make it.  And I did.

To put failure in perspective here is the rest of Michael Jordan’s quote:  “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost more than 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life… and that is why I succeed”. 

I have always loved and played sports.  While they are truly only games, the life skills are transferrable to “real” life.  Here are some things I learned along the way:

Teamwork, Commitment, Trust, Practice, Perseverance, Patience

Basketball is also how I became connected to the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.  Phil Jackson used to run a workshop there called, “Beyond Basketball,”  and I started going to it in September 1991.  Phil is sometimes called the Zen Master for his unique approach to coaching.  His workshop was a combination of basketball and life skills, and one of his favorite sayings was, “does basketball imitate life, or does life imitate basketball?”

Our failures sometimes cause us to be blocked by the fear of failure.  And what does that mean?  It means that we are unsure if we have learned and grown from our past experiences.  Normally, this occurs because we haven’t taken the time to learn from our mistakes, and believe that there is only one outcome – failure.  This is the time when your saboteur is at his or her best.  She/he reminds you of every shortcoming you have, and takes no notice of your successes.  What did you say to yourself the last time you “failed?”  How did that affect you?  What would you have liked to have said to yourself?

Two ways to counter your saboteur is to learn from your mistakes, and to create a list of your successes.  When your saboteur tells you that you cannot do something, think about what you have learned from your “failures”, and focus on your successes. 

Remember even learning, or rather relearning, these skills take commitment and practice.  Keep in mind that getting what you want will take perseverance, patience, and probably more than a week.  And, always, always trust the Universe!  She is on your team.

*My given name is Robert.  In July 1994, at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, I started being called, Win.  That is a story for another day.